Conversion Disorder Comments

Possible philisophical theme idea by Scott/Me -cmptrgy412

Sorry for the caps. I was originally putting this in the script, but saw it more fit here.

(OK ME AND SCOTT WERE TALKING TODAY ABOUT THIS SCENE. WE WERE THINKING ABOUT SOMETHING SOMEWHAT PHILOSOPHICAL HERE. LET'S SAY (PHIL) PULLS A STRAW COVERING UNTIL THE KNOT GOES OUT. PAUL ASKS WHAT HE'S DOING AND (PHIL) SAYS THAT IF THE KNOT COMES OUT, SOMEONE'S THINKING OF YOU. THEN PAUL ASKS, WHAT HAPPENS IF YOU HAVE NO STRAW. THEN WE WANT (PHIL) TO SAY SOMETHING PHILOSOPHICAL THAT WILL BE A COMMON THEME THROUGHOUT THE MOVIE OR AT LEAST AN UNDERLYING ONE, AND PERHAPS THE LAST SECONDS OF THE MOVIE WILL BE THE CAMERA PANNING TO AN ABANDONED STREET WITH A CRUMPLED UP STRAW COVERING.)

Love it. - Patryk

Love it. The straw covering should blow away too, thus ending the movie.

"What if you don't have a straw?" - cmptrgy412

Thanks to Scottie he answered my question.

He thought of the theme of being nothing really matters was good. I agreed and added that to the end of the straw scene. If you want to see what it was originally, check the history.

Ok here's the theme: "Nothing really matters in life if you don't have one." or just "Nothing really matters." Not sure quite yet.
last edited on 1 Jun 2007, 20:34 -0-500 by cmptrgy412 + show more

Just some input, feel free to ignore. - Patryk

Nice Jake, you are really getting a lot done. Though, if I may say so, some of the dialogue is sounding sort of unrealistic.

"You don't seem phased by the whole thing. You won't be excluded from this "holocaust", you know that right?"

I think (Phil) sounds a little too accepting here. Already knowing the rules of the apparent "holocaust" as it seems. If I were you I would change it to something simpler like:

"And what makes you so confident?!"

I suck at writing dialog. - cmptrgy412

Yes, well first off:

I suck at writing dialog. I might have mentioned this before, many times. So feel free to change anything I completely screw up.

Second off:

I wanted THOMAS to be a very pessimistic character in this story. I haven't updated the changes yet, but I've made him a bit more reserved, angry, and sarcastic. I'll update those later tonight.

Third off:

Hi Patrick.

Fourth off:

Yes… well… I dunno. I have been writing character bios to help get me into character better so it doesn't sound so artificial, but then again I don't have first hand experience with alien invasions, so… it may never not be artificial, at least from my writing. Once again, someone else change it!

Couple plot changes. - cmptrgy412

At the end of the movie, I don't think (PHIL) should kill himself. It's a little too anticlimactic. Perhaps after everyone dies, maybe he should (after the whole picking up the straw wrapper and letting it blow in the wind thing) maybe just walk into the distance. Let the viewer assume whatever they want. Maybe he survives. Maybe he dies. Maybe he finds another person and they make babies and repopulate the world I don't know. I think suicide is too anticlimactic and is a forced ending while the alternative leaves the element of wonder.

Scene 6 (The Resistance) - Was going to make THOMAS' brother say a lot about him, but would actually rather have his character be a mostly a mystery. We may find out about his wife/son, but that's the extent of it. The brother should be as clueless, beyond that, as everyone else.

After PAUL's death, which will actually be soon, I hope, I want a couple things to happen. THOMAS and (PHIL) will have a more dependent relationship, and (PHIL)'s character will assume the person he was supposed to be. His character will grow.

Another thing. I want (PHIL), once they start facing aliens, to make some decisions. (The story will feel less linear. Right now, it feels like a roller coaster out of any body's hands, and I don't want that to be the case.) I want decisions and I want consequences for those decisions. Perhaps a decision (PHIL) makes will be the one that ultimately is the reason PAUL dies. Also, if that is the case, then THOMAS will have empathy for (PHIL). Now both know what it's like to be the one responsible for the death of someone close. That will be the ultimate beginning of their dependent relationship.

That's all for now.

Suicide Best Option in My Opinion (great out of context). -Patryk

Personally I think you should stick with (Phil) offing himself. Here be me thinkin' on the subject:

It is already slightly farfetched that America or Russia or whoever would use this gas thing in an attack as opposed to just bombing, so you need to have as much evidence as possible supporting the fact that this was a valid move on the enemy's part. If everyone goes berserko and starts killing each other, and the only survivors go berserko and kill themselves, then you have a kick-ass scenario, to support which you can just argue means to an end. But if people survive and merely walk away to live new lives, then you are left to wonder why top scientists would propose using this gas where that was a possibility, instead of say, just bombing Russia or America or wherever. Besides, this theme is a slightly depressing one, and that is too happy an ending.

Your flick though, just my input.
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unfold Suicide Best Option in My Opinion (great out of context). by PatrykPatryk, 5 Jun 2007, 21:45 -0-500
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This Response Needed a Title. It bugged me.
cmptrgy412cmptrgy412 5 Jun 2007, 22:04 -0-500

what I'm saying for the ending is let the viewer decide what happens. Every one, and I mean everyone is dead. I don't know how, will power maybe but (PHIL) has survived. Maybe he will kill himself. It's really up to the morbid mind of the viewer to choose with the other one

After looking at how cheesy Scene Six was, I decided to create awards for our wiki. Scene Six won the "Cheez-It Cheesiest Scene Award."

Congratulations Scene Six

[edit] Scene six has been rewritten. If you would like to see the old scene six, it's under the history. Revision 49 and earlier I believe.[/edit]
last edited on 13 Jun 2007, 20:53 -0-500 by cmptrgy412 + show more
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unfold This Response Needed a Title. It bugged me. by cmptrgy412cmptrgy412, 5 Jun 2007, 22:04 -0-500
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Dialogue Problems.
cmptrgy412cmptrgy412 14 Jun 2007, 22:40 -0-500

Ok, I read the entire script fully through for the first time. Besides my dialogue sounding completely unrealistic there is another problem.
It feels completely and utterly rushed. OK, I'm saying this, OMG an alien, NOW I'M SAYING THIS, LETS MOVE ON, ONE MORE LINE OF DIALOGUE, ahh another alien.

Yes, so hoping that that can be fixed. I did rush a little while I was reading it though so that could have been a problem. I wish I knew how people talked.
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unfold Dialogue Problems. by cmptrgy412cmptrgy412, 14 Jun 2007, 22:40 -0-500
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Approximate Script Length (thus far)
cmptrgy412cmptrgy412 19 Jun 2007, 10:25 -0-500

From scenes 1 through 8, I read through it. The actual reading time was about 21 minutes. Out of 24 pages, that fits the criterea of about 1 minute per page. I made a projection based on each scene how much time additional stuff would take to do, such as silences and stage movements. This number may or may not be exaggerated, but I came up with that time being about 35-36 minutes. Its possible that it may exceed that number, but most likely over these 24 pages it will probably the average of about 28 minutes or so. That would mean over another 6 to 8 scenes which I have planned, at least, it will be another half hour. 2 of the scenes in these first were very short though and if these other scenes are longer we are looking to up to 90 minutes long, a full length movie, basically. Hooray more work for me.

Edit: I've decided to leave out some information and quickly draw this movie to a close. Right now we're at 30 pages so probably 40 or so minutes. After a few more scenes I'll probably have 35-40 pages, so a maximum of an hour movie, hopefully. Meh.
last edited on 21 Jun 2007, 21:39 -0-500 by cmptrgy412 + show more
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unfold Approximate Script Length (thus far) by cmptrgy412cmptrgy412, 19 Jun 2007, 10:25 -0-500
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Dang.
cmptrgy412cmptrgy412 22 Jun 2007, 11:24 -0-500

Dang it. I just copied and pasted the script to word, set it to 12pt font only to find out that there are 45 minutes of script. There's a lot of extra spacing though so it's probably, in real proper script format, about 35 pages. This is without an edited script and a lot of this is extra direction probably leading to a movie between, as said, 45-60 minutes.
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unfold Dang. by cmptrgy412cmptrgy412, 22 Jun 2007, 11:24 -0-500
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I came, I saw, I tried to edit…
Shawn BoddenShawn Bodden 28 Jun 2007, 17:18 -0-500

I just finished reading the script, overall I like it although there are certain parts that need some polishing as previously mentioned. I've started editing the script, specifically the dialogue. However, whenever I try to save changes I make to the script my computer freaks out. Sooo for the moment at least I can't post my alterations. Anyway, mainly just letting you (Jake) know I've seen the script and started editing…
Oh, and Jake, Polish is very hard to understand…
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unfold I came, I saw, I tried to edit… by Shawn BoddenShawn Bodden, 28 Jun 2007, 17:18 -0-500
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You're Polish!!
cmptrgy412cmptrgy412 28 Jun 2007, 17:57 -0-500

What happens specifically when you try to save changes. Try using firefox to edit.. I read the documentation on this wiki, long after I set it up (as always) and firefox is the only browser w/ no issues. I heart firefox.

Thanks. You're editing.

P.S. There is a way to change the language to english, but that wouldn't be any fun.
last edited on 28 Jun 2007, 19:09 -0-500 by cmptrgy412 + show more
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